Staying on top

There's hardly any joy in this anymore. The day before I always feel like a fighter exhausted sitting in the locker room head down and shoulders slumped waiting for the next round. Trying to place week after week gets tiring. I used to be rank 250 something in San Diego. Now I'm 109. And still going up. Getting there. But those damn firewalkers. So damn annoying. I can usually beat them when the deck behind them is not control. Boros and Quest I can beat, even when they have firewalker, it's just harder. Just wanna run something rogue so that they become dead cards. But I can't bring myself to do so. Playing rogue decks you get used to losing, doesn't mean you like it, but you're ok with it. Once you win, it's addictive. You want to win again next week. And if you keep winning then it becomes an expectation. You can't go back to being a loser. If you're looked at as an easy win, then it'll be hard to get out of that. But its fuckin hilarious when they sit there mad as shit that they lost to you. Victory is suppose to feel liberating but I just feel trapped. There's just no confidence there anymore. There never was. The higher and higher you go the less mistakes you're allowed to make. You can't fuck around anymore. Especially when you're paired with somebody new. Cause that'll really hurt your rating, which you now care for. The higher you go, the more the drop hurts on the way down. And then you build a rogue deck and have someone else play it. The deck seems playable, but when applied the topdecks just don't flow, so you spend all the effort trying to make it better. And then you ask yourself, are you living through this person playing the rogue deck? Since you're unable to experiment anymore. Is the grass on the other side sweeter because she's able to play decks carefree and not give a fuck in the end?  I miss those days.

Game Day

Yup. It's that time again. Time for me to lie to you about how it was me against the store and all my trusty little goblins raged through dozens of enemies like wurmcoil, Gideon, walls, titans, vampires, elves, and the elusive baneslayer. How we bathed in their blood and came out on top winning first place and taking home the gold. Aahhhhh yeaaaah. But sadly no. I'm here to report my games on Game Day at Crazy Freds.
For the first round I got paired up with David, a thick asian guy who always jokes that losing to me is the worst this ever. Which is what happened the first game, opening rebirth followed by guide then wardriver with a bushwhacker kicked really does end the game quickly. I didn't give him the chance to pop his quest. Game 2 I kept a weird hand cause I thought it would pay off. Which it did, I managed to crush his argentum, but I was hardly playing any creatures, and his firewalker and cat that exiled my pest kept swinging in. Death was imminent. I managed to mass for 4, and it killed the firewalker where I was able to play wardriver and bushwhacker and swing in for 10 putting him at 7, but I was at 3 and I died. Game 3 was cute and fun. Pest and thopter swung in for 1, then there was a guide, then wardriver, which got murdered. Then there was another wardriver and a bushwhacker and I had him so close to death that he just sat there wondering if there was a way to block so that he could still win. It was my turn again and I had enough power to kill him, but to add insult to injury I topdecked a bushwhacker and did more damage than was necessary. 2-1
Round 2 and it's up against Patrick, I think, and his rogue vampire deck. His turn 2 blood seeker really did some damage to me. But I wasn't gonna be the one to remind him, since it was a may effect. In total the seeker did 7 damage to me, including the 3 tokens. But I was able to get in there for more than the number I was playing, dealing 8-10 damage a time. Barely even saw his deck. Game 2 I managed to play memnite and rebirthed thopter, before he got blood seeker out. After an opening like that this was already game over since I knew he had no board wipes. After swinging 4 I dropped wardriver and swung for 10 next turn, but a token got blocked and he took 8. Then he swung all in on me getting me to 12, and left a guy to block. I wasn't having that, arc trail the guy and swing in for 12. There will be no prisoners here. 2-0.
Round 3 and undefeated. Such a great feeling. And then I hear it, "Perez vs Kellogg." On fuckin Game Day too. Alright, I know the rules here, get him by turn 4 or not at all. So I did my best, guide, wardriver, rebirth, bushwhacker, and then I got him to 1. To 1! Then he day'd. I was already in topdeck mode, trying to draw an answer, even just a little burn, but I was doomed. Next came Gideon, and elspeth soon followed. I had him to 1 and he made a comeback. Game 2. I barely put a dent in him. With the condemns and firewalkers I couldn't do shit. I wasn't controlled from turn 4, I was controlled since turn 1. He already had the upper hand, and then he dropped the wurmcoil. Well fuck that shit, I'm gonna commence scoop phase right now. 0-2 and I was certain this was gonna fall out of placing. At least none of my earlier opponents pussied out and dropped.
4th and final round. Can't fuck around here. I'm gonna get in there and fuck shit up hardcore status. So I think his name his Brian and guess what kind of deck he's running, the fuckin infect and defile box that you can just buy over the counter and play. And then he bought a few other cards and added those. Which just goes to show that those boxes have ruined the fuckin game for people who spent months of hard-work, sweat, blood and tears into making this deck the way it is, and then just to have it bought over the counters. This guy went 2-1 so far with this deck. Then he faced a real version and it put him to 2-2. I do not approve of this shit. I don't even feel like reporting this game. Both games were over in 4 turns, even with his smothers. Surprised him both games with my explosive opening play and all the creatures I had. Ok I'm done now. 2-0. Can I have my black sun now?
So I ended the day with a 3-1, a total of 6 wins and 3 losses. 66.66% win percentage. Not bad. Not bad. In the end I got 3rd place. Comic odd crew really raped shit today. Tommy got 1st, Lahrell with the 2nd and David right behind me with the 4th. Should've realized earlier that there was a problem with the prize money though, since there was none. Nobody was allowed to use their store credit so Fred pocketed $100 that day. 

Rant about event boxes

Alright so what the Fuck is this bullshit? Who said Wizards could do this? I don't approve of this fuckin shit. This is about as retarded as a 15/15 uncounterable extra turn shuffle your librarygraveyard annihilate 6 flying anti spell targeting bullshit all rolled up in a creature and given away at an event for free. I am talking about those damn wretched boxes that you can buy over the counter and enter the tournament at the same time. "Into the breach" and "Infect and defile" are the damn fuckin boxes I'm talking about. And that actually happened on Game Day! This white guy hasn't played magic since big Jace was $40 and he comes back during this event, has no deck, buys the ub box and enters. He was 2-1 when he met me and he thought he could be 3-1 but then I curbstomped him to 2-2 giving him an 0-2 for our round. The guy was actually cool, it's just what he did that really pissed me off. I know these boxes aren't meant to be great but they're playable. Now any noob walking in with their parents wallet can buy this shit. This is a fuckin disgrace to those of us who actually spent time making these decks what they are. Every box shipped is Wizards spitting in our face. Every box bought is a hinderance of the authentic. I don't see any boxes out there for fuckin UW control. A nice little package with firewalkers, days, baby jace, dual lands, and various counters. No! Because there isn't! I don't see a fuckin Valakut box! Shit that has fuckin god damn Valakut, fuckin battlements, khalni hearts, green zenith, god damn motherfuckin pryos. You get what the fuck I'm saying. Why not have a fuckin noob try to play one of those motherfuckin god damn shit bitch untwhotefuckgoddammit decks. I remember when I built this f kin deck before it was even kuldotha. When I made that mother kin god damn raid bombardment deck. With all those sonbitch commons and uncommons. The only rare was thefuckin goblin guide. It required playing a shit load of goblins and then dropping chandras spitfire and having all the goblins attack activating raid bombardment dealing multiple 1 damage and +3/0 on spitfire a shit ton of times. Then the deck dropped spitfire cause it was always getting killed in some way or another and cheiftain replaced her, making it a full goblin deck. I'm sorry spitfire, we had our fun but I can't stand to see you die anymore. Then the fuckin rotation happened and the only card I lost was dragon fodder, and the expected me to replace it with rebirth. At first I didn't want to add artifacts just so I can use a card though. But I did anyways, and it was ok. It didn't do great, back then all I had to rely on was chieftain and bushwhacker for the pump. Turn out 8 wasn't enough. It needed 16, wardriver and pest. Now that the deck has 16 creatures pumping each other the deck can constantly drop threat after threat. Since M11, since motherfuckin M11 when the raid bombardment deck was built I've been tweaking this deck into what it is today. Nobody else had that raid deck. I'd always get called judge on just so they check the legality of it. Nobody liked having a 13/3 flying over and punching them in the fuckin face stupid dipshit ass motherfuckers after already taking 4 noncombatant damage and having other little guys to block. None of these other noobs wont understand this shit. They won't have a story like this. It'll just be "I bought this deck over the counter and fixed it so it's just like that list I saw online. I'm a stupid cunt bitch who decided to take the easy way out and steal a deck that's already winning and dick ride on it's success." and I'm not mad about the other premium decks. Those decks can only be used in legacy or edh, and the from the vault decks too. This is a deck specifically built for standard copying decks from standard. The most played format across the nation. Kuldotha red was already cheap as it is! Fuck your mox opal! I don't need that fuckinshitcuntbitchwhoreslutfriskycatdog!!!!! Just a waste of a fuckin drop if have your artifacts dead and no more metalcraft. I killed that sonbitch! Raped that motherfucker and took the 2-0! I didn't ask for it I just took it! And imma rape that shit again! I will! Yes I fuckin god damn will god mother fuck dammit will! Rape that shit motherfuckin sideways. Fuuucckk!!! :RAGE MODE: *FLIPS DESK*

Naya superfriends

Alrigt so as I promised you here's Stephanies naya colored superfriends deck. But as she calls it K+Gbffs-w/Kitty. Here's the list and what is does.
3x koth of the hammer
3x garruk wildspeaker
3x ajani goldmane

4x perimeter captain
3x wall of tanglecord
2x overgrown battlement

4x explore
4x journey to nowhere
2x contagion clasp
1x contagion engine
2x elixir of immortality
2x day of judgment
3x red sun zenith

2x forest
5x mountain
5x plains
4x sunpetal grove
2x rootbound crag
2x raging ravine
4x arid mesa

Sb:
1x steel hellkite
2x day of judgment
4x pyroclasm
3x celestial purge
3x naturalize
2x creeping corrosion
So the deck pretty much stalls until you run out of gas. Ideally perimeter captain gets there first to stop any hasty attackers in the beginning. Multiple captains + chump blocking is really annoying and I apologize, but suck it up. After good number of blocks and lifegain and more walls hit the field, it's time to play planeswalkers. Or if you have too many creatures for the deck to handle, day then walkers. Journey to great rid of fuckers like highborn and wurmcoil. Clasp for clasping needs, just like engine, and proliferating needs on the walkers, ajanis +1+1 counters, and ravine. Explore is card draw and land drop, elixer is lifegain and shuffling threats back into the deck. Finally the red zenith is there for when journey isn't, and for that last strong hit to the face. Koth and garruk gives the creatures and untap lands, ajani pumps all the creatures and vigilance is nice too. Plus the lifegain just to fuck over most decks. This deck isn't in a hurry. It takes time to kick your ass. Don't rush it. It's ok. 
Yes I know the steel hellkite doesn't belong but he just sits there and looks pretty. Don't hate. The pyroclasms and for when they're trying to rush the deck and you can't wait for the judgment. The extra judgments are for when the pyros just won't cut it. Purge of course is for those big black and red threats.  Naturalize is for artifact and enchantment hate, but I have spreading seas mostly in mind. And the corrosion is because I'm not too happy with the tempered steel decks that be thinking they the shit lately. 
I would also like to say that I'm not looking for help or tips with the deck. I don't want to hear about koth taking up space or how all this deck does is not let you win. This is a deck I built for Stephanie and I don't give a fuck what you have to say. Good night.

Fuckin shit up at freds

Another week at Fred's ready to place. Lets do this.
So for the first round I'm playing against Ngyuen and I see green and I am pleased, Greatly. Green is the easiest shit to fuck up. Turn 1 forked bolt him and his elf. Turn 2 forked bolted elves and swung for 2. Turn 3 DevastatingBushwhacker combo featuring menite, guide and 15 damage, and a forked bolt to get his little elf out the way and hit him for 1. It was literally that short. The game went so fast I had no idea what was in his deck. So I covered the basic elf deck sideboard needs. Arc trails for his Ezuri and Champion, and Crush for that damn Monument. Game 2 lasted a little longer. Turn 1 3 goblins, turn 2 warzone. Got him to 14. His stupid little Mul Daya Chanelers got in my way. His champion saw green too and thats when Chaneler hit me for 3, the only 3 damage he'll do to me. His champion needed to die. NOW. Arc trailed that bitch. That one damage to his face was a great idea too cause it put him to 10. Cause next turn I bushwhacker kicked and with the help of signal pest, all my 3 little goblins were hitting for 3 each, bushwhacker hitting for 3, and pest hitting for 1, which he couldn't block pest. He was able to block one creature, but that was still 10 damage, just what I needed. Thank god I have this app, otherwise I wouldn't know what he'd be at and I'd think he was at 11 like he thought he was. After round 3 he dropped and brought my score down. Thanks a lot. 2-0
This next round was a lot of fun. Playing against a Boros deck played by a guy I'm not irritated with, Brad. I could go into how cool the first game was, swinging in and trading creatures with him. Taking 2 from each others guides and then killing them later. How I was at 18, he was at 16, and I tricked him to lower his gaurd and swing all in getting me to 6 with his Geopede and Lynx and Koths 4/4 mountain and Landfall. And then when he was wide open, dropping wardriver and bushkicked and getting him to -1, making sure to NOT attack his Koth. Lets skip through game 2 where we traded guide damage and killed them again. And skip how he got me from 16 to 11, and I got him from 16 to 6. And go to the point where he dropped Firewalker. The mere name gives me chills. To the standoff. Just checking out each others fields trying to plan out everything and guess every move. He dropped a fetched land and his Pede with Gear getting +4/+4 attacking for 5 and getting me to 6 with him. To the standoff where it was my turn to strike, saying fuck his lifegain and using arc trail to get hawk and lynx out my way, with only his Firewalker to block. He could have fetched and saved his lynx, but he didn't. I thought he would have, but I'm glad he didn't. Attacking all in, his Firewalker blocked a goblin, scared to block my 3/3 mass, and he takes 6. 6! SIX! That single point of life saved his ass. But I had to, I couldnt let blockers get in my way. But he still had that fetch. Come on. Don't focus on your life and just fetch your land and die attempting to kill me. Come on fetch! Shit you realized your life. Fuck me sideways. Another standoff. He doesnt attack. I draw a cheiftain and think real hard. After a long thought I decide to stop thinking like a blue player, pull my balls out, and attack all in. He's back at 2. And he has to block everything or die. Unfortionately he blocked everything, and is only left with the firewalker. Dammit firewalker! Why did you have to live. He's still at 2, and still refuses to attack, but now he has a mountain. I'm certain of it, he has a bolt. I can't let that scare me, either attack or be called a coward. KULDOTHA! And he bolts my Mass then blocks my bushwhacker... It's over. Firewalker gets gear, pumped, and hits me for 6. Game 3 we went to rounds, but it didn't matter. But that time he was already dead. 2-1 me. Damn Boros. That shit is close.
Round 3, Jason with with terrifying Valakut deck and his ability to topdeck well. I'm not worried. Valakut is another set-up deck. As long as I get in there before the set-up is finished than I'm good. So he drops his land and pass, I get my rebirth and pass, battlement pass, swing 3 get 1 blocked take 2 pass, more set-up taps battlement pass, drop guide swing 5 takes 5 drop pest pass, cultivate pass, bushkicked swing all 17 for game. Yeah that was pretty fast, he wasn't getting anything he wanted and I got in there before anything bad could happen. Game 2 however is sidedcards fucked me up. He drops forest and passes. I drop memnite, thopter and rebirth it. Turn 2 he pyro'd, shoulda seen it coming. Drop guide swing 2 and pass. Explore, drops land, plays battlement and passes. Swing and a miss, pass.  He drops another battlement, drops his second Valakut, harrows and passes. I still cant get in there, I'm topdecking bullshit. His turn he plays Primeval and searches for his last two valakuts. Now I really can't attack. He's about to attack with primeval and I double bolt it, then he green zeniths for another eval, hitting me for 24 with the valakuts. Game 3, little nervous but I can't let that get to me. This game goes a little faster, guide swings and hits, next turn double guide swing, one is blocked by battlement. Turn 3 chieftain wants to play, all 3 swing, guide blocks and takes 5. Then eval makes a presence and he fetches valakuts. Then I drop pest and bushkicked and attack for more than is necessary to count. GG. 2-1 me.
Yeah alright so I'm feeling good. I'm going 3-0 and about to get some money in my name. Until I find out Tommy is 3-0 as well and we might be playing each other. This is all sorts of fucked up, last week I had to play Trent and this week I'm playing Tommy.
So yeah I'm playing Tommy, a skinny lightskinned mixed asian thing that looks mexican but acts black. We really didn't want to play each others decks so we called a tie so nobody would walk home humiliated. :coughcough: But we did play just so we weren't sitting there bored. So with our decks already sided, we started and I did my rebirth thing. Then just kept going on the attack, hitting 4 damage each turn, then 8 damage on the last hit finishing him off before he could play the day in his hand. Game 2 was so fortunate though. Turn 2 he managed to drop a firewalker and that was all he needed to stop me. Stupid firewalker wouldn't let me get through and all I could do was sit there and let the firewalker rape shit. He won that one. You think that's annoying? In game 3 I think all his firewalkers hit the field.  Most annoying shit ever. Just sitting there and taking an assbeating from firewalkers, gideons, manlands, and swords.
Needless to say that sucked. Now me and Tommy are 3-0-1 but thanks to big-green deck dropping it brought down my score. Making Tommy get 2nd and me with the 3rd. Some fucker got first and got in our way and brought us down. Until next week, when I'm gonna rape shit. Yeah son. 

Time to fuck shit up.

Alright. Another week, another ass beating. I love this no censorship bullshit. Fuck yeaaahh. Anyways, I'm running my deck as usual. And Stephanie is running a new deck I built for her. Which will be in the next post.
So for my first round, guess who I play against. Stephanie, a FattyFatFatMcFattingtonFatFuckFatsoFatFat, I'm playing against a deck I built to stop decks like mine. And in the first game it did just that. I dropped my Guide and swung in, passed. And then I see it, Perimeter Captain, Im fucked. Drop another Guide, swing both, she blocks, gains 2, loses 2, fork bolted Captian, passed. Another Captain. She wasnt fuckin around. I forgot what happened after that cause it was BS after BS. Pyros and Lifegain then the Planewalkers came out the play and I was just stuck. There was nothing I could do to stop it once it started. Game 2 was better for me. No Pyros, no Captains. She just didnt get to draw any answers, and I was able to get in there and kill her before anything could stop me. Game 3, it was the first game all over again. I couldn't get in there in time to put her down. Loss 1-2 Me.
My second round was up against Trent, and I gotta say, once again I was pissed. I remember this deck. This deck specializes in killing me. So in the first game it went as usual, I lost the roll, got the draw, did my set up when it was my turn, then got pyro'd when I passed. Now Im sitting here with a summons in hand and a few lands. Great, already topdecking. Fortunately he was still setting up his combo so I had time to get in there. By turn 4 I had a memnite and drew into a bushwhacker, so I was ready to combo. Summons to 2x 4/4s, a memnite and a bushkicked, and I swung in all. His perilous myr blocked my bushwhacker, he took 12, and the myr killed my memnite. Next turn he stole my elemental, gave it a +1/+1 counter, swung at me and sac'd it to his artifact draw thing. My turn, swung for 4 and passed. My turn again I swung for game. Game 2 was the same opening. He drops land, I start with 3-4 creatures on the field, then he pyros. Never fails. My turn to drop Wardriver and pass. Hes setting up his field. Drop cheiftain, swing 6 and pass. His turn, slagstorm, ouch, really now. I drop another wardriver, he hasn't killed it yet. My turn again, drop cheiftain and swing 6 again, he boardwipes again. Topdecked a guide and swing for 2, got him to 6, and showed him the double bolt. Sorry Trent, I don't believe friends should be playing each other when's there's money involved.
3rd round and it's against Leo, that short asian foo that's short. Not nervous at all. While he's shuffling I see baby Jace and ask him, "no kuldotha?" he says, "nah I wanna play a deck thats good." I took offense to that. Just because the average mexican can afford kuldotha does not make it a bad deck. Go fuck yourself and your couch. Anyways, I open my turn with 3 cute little goblins ready to fuck his shit up sideways. Pass to him and he inquistitions me, taking my cheiftain away. I'm alright with that, I have a wardriver in hand with a 2nd land, that was my 2nd turn anyways, swung 3 and passed. I forgot what his puny 2nd turn was but I don't give a damn. Turn 3 wardriver and co fucked shit up for 8, and passed. Fuck his turn 3, my turn 4 was a topdecked bushwhacker and they fucked shit up son. Game 2, I see ratchet bombs sided in, shits getting real son. This game was a little slower than last. Guide had to do most of the work. Hitting him for 2, then 2 again, until finally he gets another guide to help him, and swing for 4. Then good ol' Cheiftain hit the field. How did I get to this point without trouble yet? It's like turn 4, all hes done is played inquisition, wheres his wipes? His counters? Is his deck scared? Take that you fuckin sorry expensive deck. Even a beaner can fuck yo shit up sideways. (in reality I understand he's probably just getting bad draws, but this nigga is offended and this nigga will fuck shit up. He has dissed kuldotha and red itself. I will not stand for this shit!) So after cheiftain and guide hit for 8, its my turn again and I drop a wardriver and shit gets all sorts of fucked up hella hardcore son. Yeah. Go Goblins. Hooray for fucking shit up.
Alright, so my last round. Surprised to find out I was paired down. I don't even want to report this. It's really sad. I thought I was gonna win this. I'm up against Justin, a mexican looking thing with a hoodie and glasses. He looks like a kid too, what went wrong? It's a tempered steel deck. Turn 4 he should be dead. Anyways, for the first game I was fuckin amazing. 3 goblins turn 1, turn 2 warzone and swing 6. Turn 3 bushwhacker and swing 8. Then he gets his steel out and he finally has decent blockers. Swing all and I get him to 3, we trade a few, next turn swing again, got him to 1, we trade some more, next turn after that I finally killed him. Game 2, I dont know what he sided in, but it worked for him. I barely got in there. Hitting him little by little. Until I finally got him to 3. All I needed was that bolt. Where was that bolt. Oh god why can't I summon bolt from the deck.Tides have turned, I was out of goblins, his ornithopthers and shit were swinging in, from 20 to 16 to 12 to 6 to dead. Why have you forsaken me bolt. Whyyyyy!? Game 3 it was on. I managed to get a couple of big hits in and got him to 7. But double steel really ruins plans. With Tommy and Trent standing there, judging, watching, encouraging, I can feel the heat on me. All my goblins are dead. There is no hope. I'm sorry guys. I've let you down. Goblins can't fuck up steel that's been tempered. Noooooo.... 20 to 16 to 11 to dead.

Saturday Magic 2-19-11

Now its time to report on my rounds on Saturday at Crazy Fred's. Some people don't like going there. They just can't handle his sarcastic humor. To each their own, I'm not here to rate stores (COUGH! Game Empire is at the bottom)
I apologize if I can't remember much but rounds go by faster at Freds and Im not able to record anything.
So my first game is against Jessie, a four-eyed asian looking guy who didn't like my Summoning Trap SB in Big Red. First game he had the board with landfall creatures and I would have a hard time keeping my creatures. He kept using his arc trails viciously. But when I did hit him, it was pretty hard. Managed to get him to 4, but he had so many landfall creatures and fetches, I couldn't stop it all. 2nd game after I sided all my creature hates, I didn't let his creatures stay on the board long. Bushwhacker and Battlecry got there. In game 3 he got a good head start, but then I played more creature hate and got all my creatures through. We went to turns, mine being 0, and we were both at 12. I managed to hit him for 6, then he hit me for 7, but I wasn't worried. Along with the creatures I had on the board, I had Cheiftain, Bushwhacker, and Summons in my hand, with the mana to 2 of them but not all 3, which wasnt needed. Boros is a fun match-up of speed. Game win Me, 2-1.
Round 2 was against Aj with his Elves. Not much to report on. Both games went by too fast to say anything, it was the same thing each time. First couple of turns I would kill his mana producers, and then just keep swinging in for lethal. Didnt give him any time to cast Ezuri or Monument. Elves are good, but while they're setting up, I'm already wrecking shit. Game win 2-0.
Round 3 and Im undefeated. Felt damn good. Then my matchup was against Leo again, and I felt confident. Fuck that fool. I beat his deck once and I was gonna do it again. And then reality hit, he learned from his mistakes and fixed his deck up. First game I was hardly able to play any creatures without him killing them. Yeah I was able to hit him a couple times, but it just wasnt enough. I am proud to say that in the second game I raped his shit up, got him down to -16 and he couldnt get me past 15. He wasn't having any trouble either so there's no excuse there. However I wasn't so lucky in game 3. I had to mull and even then it wasn't good enough. Got stuck with a mountan, warzone, and a couple of 1drops with cheiftain. I figured I was good and would draw another land. Which I didn't. Kept strugging, kept trading my warzone, in the end he was at 4, I was at 5, and then he swung for game. Douche. I don't think he likes me either. Before the game he listed gamewinning "gay shit" and told me not to do them and not to give him gay cuts. When I mulled and I asked him if he wants to cut me, he said,"Yeah with a knife." Fuck that nigga.
Round 4 was a sad round, just because it was against somebody Im cool with, Trent. A tall, white guy who is tall and tall. This nigga tall. A deck like his is built for a deck like mine. 6 board wipes. Its horrible. Just horrible. I couldnt have creatures on the feild for too long before Id have to rebuild my army again. All in all I did good though, managed to get him down to 5, but then he played Inferno Titan, killed off my creatures, and I was sitting at 14. I had one turn to live, and Ive could have survived it if I hadn't made the mistake of passing turn. With his Inferno, he could kill me in one hit. But if I had played Cheiftain, and Summons for 2x 4/4s, then the win coulda been mine. Since he'd kill my Cheiftain, and I wouldnt have blocked, Id be at 1 life. Then my 4/4s would have gotten me the win. Shoulda woulda coulda. But I didn't. After sideboard it was a lot harder to keep my creatures on the field. I got him down to 7 this time, and then he dropped another Inferno. I was only at 18 thanks to my fetchlands, I thought I could pull through, topdeck creature after creature and somehow haste my way to win. Seeing me struggle, Trent decided to make it easy for me. He showed me his hand, with more Infernos and Wurmcoils. All I could do was laugh as I scooped and said "Good game." Which I rarely do scoop. I like to play it out. But when you're staring at Wurmcoil... All you can do is "Fuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!"
That day I got 8th place out of 18-19 people. Yay, the better half of 50%. Somebody else asked what he gets for being in the top 50% a couple weeks ago, I still laugh about it to this day. "Hey Fred I got 6th what do I get?" "YOU GET DICK!"

ThNM 2-17-11

So here I am at Comic Odyssey for ThNM and I'm running my Kuldotha red deck, as I should be. For decklist see the list below.
My first match is against Leo. A short asian guy I don't really care for who played back when Vampires still had Nocturnus, and came back a couple months ago trying to build the new Vampire deck. But tonight we have a mirror match.
His hands always exploded out onto the field because of the Mox he used. I would empty out my hand as soon as I could, but I think he made it easy for me. I always had a forked bolt and I would always use it to ruin his Moxes metalcraft. He was able to hit me pretty hard, but I could hit back harder, since my deck was more focused on aggro than his was. In the last game it was really close. In that last game I lost the board, but he had no hand so we were both topdecking. My Guide showed me he had a Devastating Summons. So I dropped mine and made 2 3/3s, with 2 lands left over. Big enough to block his creatures, and trade with his Summons if he made them, since he only had 3 lands. Which he did, then I did as I planned, gained back the board with a Chieftain topdeck followed by a Wardriver. Mirror matches are fun. It becomes a game of who has the better hand, and who topdecks better. I won, 2-0.
Next match is against James. A white looking mexicanrico thing who has a habit of always placing Top 4. Playing his UW Control, with a couple of changes this time. Changes in the form of Stoneforge, Squadron, and Lifestaff, weird but effective I guess. 1st game I was scared, Guide showed me his Day and I held back on playing creatures, which was a big mistake. I shouldn't have lost my focus and remembered that this deck only moves forward, and to stall or hold back is to condemn myself to death. I managed to get him down to 8 before I said fuck it and started swinging wildy. Unfortionately he had another Day. After he dropped Gideon and Jace it was pretty much over. Game2 was my finest moment. Turn 1, Rebirthed Mass for 3 Goblins. Turn 2, drop Warzone and swing for 6. Turn 3, drop Guide and swing for 9. Turn 4, swung again and won. Game3 however I had to mull to 4. Kept a Pest, Mass, Rebirth, and Fetch. Fetched, Mass, then Rebirthed. Rebirth got countered though, and I knew there it was over. I just kept struggling. There was nothing I could play, then he dropped a Gideon. So horrible. He kept attacking with Gideon and Manland and thats game. I lost, 1-2.
My last game of the night, against Hector, A really skinny mexican guy with even skinnier clothes who I met a month ago maybe. Playing BR Vamps, a pretty bad match up for me. Don't member much on his side for the first game. Drop a warzone, Cheiftain and 2 Battlecries, then had a Bushwhacker kicked with a shitload of creatures, dealing about 30 damage. Game 2 and 3 he came back though with lifegain. I should have sided in Leyline but I didn't. Another mistake of the night. Game 3 though I kept swinging and trading creature after creature, then he dropped Nighthawk and I was out of gas. He kept swinging with the Double Nighthawk, Bloodghast, and the Warzone he stole from me. Shit sucked son. Vampires arent much of a threat until they start with that Highborn and Nighthawk bullshit. It's alright though. Gotta learn for next week. Hexmage is pretty bad too. I'm gonna have to drop 2 Cheiftains just to stop that BS. I'm just glad he doesnt have Black Sun Zenith and Ratchet Bomb. I lost, 1-2.
Round 4 I was suppose to play David, but he left so I got the cheap win. Played against Lahrell. A black guy I didn't really pay attention to until he pulled off that amazing trade a month ago. Foil Venser for a regular Venser, Baneslayer, 2 promo Sun Titans. It was a pretty amazing trade.I was playing against his Infect deck. Both our decks are fast so its pretty fun. Too bad I didnt record any of them. It was pretty much 50/50. Whoever had the shit they wanted more. Good times. Good times.
Round 5 I was suppose to play Aaron, a whitefuckwhoworksatArtifex. But he got exhausted or something from his win in the last round, and just gave me the win. Whatever. Didn't want to play him anyways.
My record ended up being 3-2 and I got 7th place. Gotta say though, I'm dissapointed. I haven't gotten Top 8 in awhile, and Top 8 usually gets a poisen counter dice or something else. Got 7th and I didn't get shit! I wanted the dice, cry...

Upgrades

Ok so I made some changes to the kuldotha red deck. Here's the decklist.
x4 goblin guide
x4 goblin chieftain
x4 goblin bushwhacker
x4 goblin wardriver
x4 signal pest
x4 chimeric mass
x3 ornithopter
x3 memnite
x4 kuldotha rebirth
x4 forked bolt
x2 devastating summons.
Yeah it hurt me to do it but I had to leave the perilous myr at home away from the battlefield. Poor little bugger, kept insisting he can still fight, that he can still be useful. Damn near cried oil into my shirt. Don't worry perilous myr, you'll have your chance again.
So now I'm trying to assure my turn 4-5 kill. A bunch of 0 drop artifacts and all the goblins, keeping the speed up and aggro going. Keeping the damage purely combat and using forked bolts only to clear away the field of pesky little blockers. Gonna try the devastating bushwhacker combo.
Hopefully I increased my speed so that no big blockers even have time to see my mountains, Gideon wont have time to distract my goblins, and all the board wipes won't matter with all the creatures I can be putting out turn after turn. Its time to start Crush-ing Rachet Bombs.

Not FNM but ThNM. Thursday Night Magic

So heres blog #2. I'm gonna be reporting about my experiences with kuldotha red last Thursday(2-10-11). Here's my decklist.
x4 goblin guide
x4 goblin chieftain
x4 goblin bushwhacker
x4 goblin wardriver
x4 signal pest
x3 memnite
x2 perilous myr
x3 panic spell bomb
x4 kuldotha rebirth
x4 lightning bolt
x4 searing blaze
x2 contested warzone
x2 scalding tarn
x4 arid mesa
x12 mountains

So that's my list. Perilous myr was a personal choice. He's decent threat. Able to take out a x/3 or sac target to rebirth, 2 damage and 3 goblins.
Man was it a bad choice. Most of my games it was slower than I would have liked.
My first game was against BR Vamps. Fairly decent matchup. My speed was faster but his lifegain was a pain. If I couldn't put him down after a certain point then I couldn't do it. Looking back I wish I had had the pyroclasms for when I didn't have board presence. Leyline Punishment never showed up either so there's that. 0-2 wipe my tears and moving on to the next game.
Up against a rouge monoB deck. I was able to handle it quite nicely. The only threats I couldn't handle were rachet bomb and black sun zenith. Only 1 zenith was played, but all the bombs. Must've seen like 6-7 bombs in those games. So many good goblins died out there... It was a sad sight. How ever he couldn't kill them all and I won 2-1. Yay me. Contested warzone really helped.
3rd matchup was against GW Vegivine or something. Don't really remember much. 1st game his deck really ran out the gate. While I was trying to set up, I was already facing Vegivine. 2nd game is was my turn. Full on blitzkrieg action. Pest, bushwhacker, goblin tokens, and warzone. It was over really fast. Last game I had him down to one, but with no bolt he played a baloth and gained 4. That 4 life and big blocker made all the difference and he changed the tide. 1-2.
4th and last game, up against a control deck I've played countless times and I knew that if I couldn't kill him by turn 5 then I wasn't going to, so I was pretty confident. With a 1-2 so far in the tournament I was ready to get this and be 2-2 and hold my head up high with a 50/50. Not a total failure. Sadly my deck couldn't have picked a worse time to sputter out. Actually the first game I won. I had to mull down to 5. I only had 1 mountain, drop guide, swung and passed. He turned it to an island and I was pissed. My turn, draw mountain YES!      Dropped it and played my other guide and pest, swung and passed. Forgot what he did and he passed. I didn't get another land but it's k, just dropped another pest and swung. My next turn was the victory, panic spellbomb made that not block and I swung for turn4game. After that my land problem persisted, but I was as I wasn't lucky. He mulled to 5 and he won. 3rd game he turned both the mountains I played into islands and I couldn't play anything. Yeah he's a good player, but the reason for my loss was land trouble. 1-2.
That night I went 1-3 and felt ashamed. The other kuldotha player had a deck similar to mine but he didn't use perilous myr and had chimeric mass and mox opal. He went 3-1. So what do I do? I get chimeric mass and adapt. Gotta learn from mistakes. Hopefully I do better next week. Peace.

Introductions

Here we are. Prior to today I've tried to find a red deck good enough to Place. Cause I refuse to play Control and buy Big Jace. No matter how strong Control is.

Here's a brief history: I started became aware of Magic during Invasion. But at that point I only collected cards, never learned how to play. And then a kool-aid accident ruined all my cards. It wasnt until Ravinca where some friends of mine were playing that I wanted to learn how to play. So I bought the Selesnya theme box and they taught me. I really sucked. Green white tokens isnt really my thing. Although to this day I sometimes wonder about playing it again. So I took out white, added red and played Gruul. Picked it up pretty well. Burn away their creatures, attack with mine, then play more creatures with Bloodthirst. Experimented with Izzet for awhile, red blue, and liked it. And then I realized, "Why not a deck of all burn spells?" This was before Lightning bolts and Ball lightnings were reprinted so they were really hard to get. Ever since then I fell in love with red.

As a red player there are certain things I like doing. And blue doesn't want me doing those things and try to shut me down. So thats where that rivarly began.

Up until that point I played Casually. It wasn't until Comic con of '09 where I played my first Sealed Two-headed Giant tournament during Shards of Alara. The Red Player I am, I created a Jund deck, not knowing it was a very powerful deck. My partner and I lost that day, and I turned my back to Jund and the whole block. TriColor decks were not my thing. Going back to Casual, I played mostly with Burns and Elementals. A year later a new set is out, Zendikar. And I meet this nice guy who was kind enough to give me a ride home after I played a few games with him. After a few games I considered playing Standard again and doing some tournaments. Not knowing what to play, I borrow one of his deck ideas. Green ramp with LOTS of Wolves. Unfortionately it was very slow and would get raped easily by Tier 1 decks of the time, RDW and Jund. Not having the finance to be able to build decks like those, I always watched with envy as they were played by others. A second deck I had was Vampires. Which wasn't that bad, and was able to handle Jund, but I still had no faith in it. After a while I went rouge and with help made a Jundcolor Dragon deck. Very powerful when it went off, but too often at times it just shutted down. For shits and giggles I made a Nayacolored Defender deck with few Eldrazi. As you can tell I wasn't that serious of a player.

Then the store I play at weekly decided to go Sanctioned and change the prizes (which used to be everyone who played gets a booster, and the 1st place gets 3 boosters.) Deciding to play a little more seriously, and getting tired of being looked at as an easy win, I went to pure red. First making a Raid Bombardment deck with Goblins and Chandra Spitfire combo. But the meta was changing. With Jace, Gideon, and the Eldrazi, Red wasn't as powerful anymore. I was too late. Then I went to what I did best, I brought a Straight Burn deck to Standard. Still, it was lacking the power it once had. With the rotation, all hope for red was lost. But I still hung on. With a slower meta I was able to play Big Red, but it didn't take, Control still had the board. Primeval was still running around throwing Valakuts all over the place. Eldrazis not re-imprisoned, Annihilating everything. Red still doing what it can to survive.

Getting tired of the Counters, I decided to do some Countering myself. But fuck playing UW or UB. I went UR, Counters and Burn. Later making slight changes to Acension. It was fun, but once again it was a dud. Other red decks tried to come up but only went so far. Boros Landfall and BR Vampires were the more successful of them. Valakut Primeval is not red I don't give a fuck what you say. Right now I got tired with Big Red not getting there so I splashed Green for ramp. Now thats a fuckin red deck. And I also went back to the once good Raid Bombardment deck with Goblins, and no Spitfire this time.

But now with the new mechanic, Battle cry, red has a fighting chance again. With the Raid Bombardment taken out and more Goblins added, the deck was more than ready to accept Battle cry.
So now that we're all caught up, from here on are my adventures with Kuldotha Red, or whatever other red deck I decided to play that week. Peace.
Btw: I have a girlfriend, Stephanie (Lady Tagger), who also plays my decks sometimes. So I'll be putting her things here too, if she can remember and tell me how they went. that Fatty. Go read her blog about food.