Fuckin shit up at freds

Another week at Fred's ready to place. Lets do this.
So for the first round I'm playing against Ngyuen and I see green and I am pleased, Greatly. Green is the easiest shit to fuck up. Turn 1 forked bolt him and his elf. Turn 2 forked bolted elves and swung for 2. Turn 3 DevastatingBushwhacker combo featuring menite, guide and 15 damage, and a forked bolt to get his little elf out the way and hit him for 1. It was literally that short. The game went so fast I had no idea what was in his deck. So I covered the basic elf deck sideboard needs. Arc trails for his Ezuri and Champion, and Crush for that damn Monument. Game 2 lasted a little longer. Turn 1 3 goblins, turn 2 warzone. Got him to 14. His stupid little Mul Daya Chanelers got in my way. His champion saw green too and thats when Chaneler hit me for 3, the only 3 damage he'll do to me. His champion needed to die. NOW. Arc trailed that bitch. That one damage to his face was a great idea too cause it put him to 10. Cause next turn I bushwhacker kicked and with the help of signal pest, all my 3 little goblins were hitting for 3 each, bushwhacker hitting for 3, and pest hitting for 1, which he couldn't block pest. He was able to block one creature, but that was still 10 damage, just what I needed. Thank god I have this app, otherwise I wouldn't know what he'd be at and I'd think he was at 11 like he thought he was. After round 3 he dropped and brought my score down. Thanks a lot. 2-0
This next round was a lot of fun. Playing against a Boros deck played by a guy I'm not irritated with, Brad. I could go into how cool the first game was, swinging in and trading creatures with him. Taking 2 from each others guides and then killing them later. How I was at 18, he was at 16, and I tricked him to lower his gaurd and swing all in getting me to 6 with his Geopede and Lynx and Koths 4/4 mountain and Landfall. And then when he was wide open, dropping wardriver and bushkicked and getting him to -1, making sure to NOT attack his Koth. Lets skip through game 2 where we traded guide damage and killed them again. And skip how he got me from 16 to 11, and I got him from 16 to 6. And go to the point where he dropped Firewalker. The mere name gives me chills. To the standoff. Just checking out each others fields trying to plan out everything and guess every move. He dropped a fetched land and his Pede with Gear getting +4/+4 attacking for 5 and getting me to 6 with him. To the standoff where it was my turn to strike, saying fuck his lifegain and using arc trail to get hawk and lynx out my way, with only his Firewalker to block. He could have fetched and saved his lynx, but he didn't. I thought he would have, but I'm glad he didn't. Attacking all in, his Firewalker blocked a goblin, scared to block my 3/3 mass, and he takes 6. 6! SIX! That single point of life saved his ass. But I had to, I couldnt let blockers get in my way. But he still had that fetch. Come on. Don't focus on your life and just fetch your land and die attempting to kill me. Come on fetch! Shit you realized your life. Fuck me sideways. Another standoff. He doesnt attack. I draw a cheiftain and think real hard. After a long thought I decide to stop thinking like a blue player, pull my balls out, and attack all in. He's back at 2. And he has to block everything or die. Unfortionately he blocked everything, and is only left with the firewalker. Dammit firewalker! Why did you have to live. He's still at 2, and still refuses to attack, but now he has a mountain. I'm certain of it, he has a bolt. I can't let that scare me, either attack or be called a coward. KULDOTHA! And he bolts my Mass then blocks my bushwhacker... It's over. Firewalker gets gear, pumped, and hits me for 6. Game 3 we went to rounds, but it didn't matter. But that time he was already dead. 2-1 me. Damn Boros. That shit is close.
Round 3, Jason with with terrifying Valakut deck and his ability to topdeck well. I'm not worried. Valakut is another set-up deck. As long as I get in there before the set-up is finished than I'm good. So he drops his land and pass, I get my rebirth and pass, battlement pass, swing 3 get 1 blocked take 2 pass, more set-up taps battlement pass, drop guide swing 5 takes 5 drop pest pass, cultivate pass, bushkicked swing all 17 for game. Yeah that was pretty fast, he wasn't getting anything he wanted and I got in there before anything bad could happen. Game 2 however is sidedcards fucked me up. He drops forest and passes. I drop memnite, thopter and rebirth it. Turn 2 he pyro'd, shoulda seen it coming. Drop guide swing 2 and pass. Explore, drops land, plays battlement and passes. Swing and a miss, pass.  He drops another battlement, drops his second Valakut, harrows and passes. I still cant get in there, I'm topdecking bullshit. His turn he plays Primeval and searches for his last two valakuts. Now I really can't attack. He's about to attack with primeval and I double bolt it, then he green zeniths for another eval, hitting me for 24 with the valakuts. Game 3, little nervous but I can't let that get to me. This game goes a little faster, guide swings and hits, next turn double guide swing, one is blocked by battlement. Turn 3 chieftain wants to play, all 3 swing, guide blocks and takes 5. Then eval makes a presence and he fetches valakuts. Then I drop pest and bushkicked and attack for more than is necessary to count. GG. 2-1 me.
Yeah alright so I'm feeling good. I'm going 3-0 and about to get some money in my name. Until I find out Tommy is 3-0 as well and we might be playing each other. This is all sorts of fucked up, last week I had to play Trent and this week I'm playing Tommy.
So yeah I'm playing Tommy, a skinny lightskinned mixed asian thing that looks mexican but acts black. We really didn't want to play each others decks so we called a tie so nobody would walk home humiliated. :coughcough: But we did play just so we weren't sitting there bored. So with our decks already sided, we started and I did my rebirth thing. Then just kept going on the attack, hitting 4 damage each turn, then 8 damage on the last hit finishing him off before he could play the day in his hand. Game 2 was so fortunate though. Turn 2 he managed to drop a firewalker and that was all he needed to stop me. Stupid firewalker wouldn't let me get through and all I could do was sit there and let the firewalker rape shit. He won that one. You think that's annoying? In game 3 I think all his firewalkers hit the field.  Most annoying shit ever. Just sitting there and taking an assbeating from firewalkers, gideons, manlands, and swords.
Needless to say that sucked. Now me and Tommy are 3-0-1 but thanks to big-green deck dropping it brought down my score. Making Tommy get 2nd and me with the 3rd. Some fucker got first and got in our way and brought us down. Until next week, when I'm gonna rape shit. Yeah son.